me vs. world

ME: Hello, world. I'm going to grow up now.

WORLD: It's about ding-dang time. You're really irresponsible, Claire.

ME: Yeah, I know. You don't have to rub it in.

WORLD: I mean, your mom has to remind you to--

ME: Yeah, I know--you really don't have to rub it in.

WORLD: Have you even thought about writing the request letter to the registrar's office so that they will forward your transcript to the scholarship foundation, ensuring your final year of undergraduate schooling will not act as a trebuchet and catapult the medieval castle of your young life with a massive, debt-sized boulder, reminiscent of the siege of Lisbon in 1147?

ME: (brief pause) Well, I've given it a bit of thought... but no, no action, no.

WORLD: Are you sure you want to grow up?

ME: (eternal pause) Yes. Yes, I do.