Tuesday, March 11, 2008

And then I don't feel so bad?

It's days like this that I'm ultimately thankful that I do not have the power to incinerate with a glance.

Oh, I would if I could. The entire theatre would be gone, as well as several students; my chemistry textbook would certainly not survive the heat, and the world might also go down in flames.

Crap ball change. I left my backpack in the cafeteria. I hope some thugly lowlife hasn't made off with it. Oh well. Have fun with my chemistry textbook, thugly lowlife, but the bookstore won't give you beans for it.

So then I might regret burning the earth. Well, I'd mostly regret it.

So I had a bad day. That's what that comes down to. I engaged in petty putainery. I did not stifle my urge to correct stupid people, even though I knew it would be tactless and make them feel more stupid. Rather, I embraced the urge. I went with it. I was a horrible person.

I had a mini-breakdown; I found out later that one of my classmates had a similar one. I wish we'd had ours together. It might have saved time.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, Rodgers and Hammerstein and Julie Andrews suggest thinking of a few of my favorite things. So here goes.

The Swiss Alps.

West Side Story.

Wodehouse.

Breakfast of Champions--
both Wheaties and the Kurt Vonnegut book.

Languages.

Rasmus.

Making fun of mullets.

Making fun of millet.

Making fun of mittens.

Making fun of non-human-hair weave.

DICK VAN DYKE.

Jane Austen.

Kiwi.


Yes. Have no fear--I would spare the earth for kiwi, the Alps and Jeeves and Wooster.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your bad day.You know this one will have to be better. My one question is...do you title your blog before or after you write it? As in, do you know where you're going with it or after the fact, you see where you went and then you can title it? You are an amazing girl(young woman) and a gifted writer. I used to say I taught you everything you knew but I quit saying that when you were in second grade. love u, mom

John A. said...

What ho!What ho! What ho!





I admit, Dyke Van Dyke is perhaps the handsomest movie star his age.


Ps. Lu-cky!

Claire said...

Hi, mom. It depends. I think I titled this one in the middle. The last post, the title came first.

You did teach me everything I know.

What ho, Johnny!