Sunday, December 2, 2007

I believe; help my unbelief.

Now, more than ever, I am struggling with doubt.

Not struggling in the sense that the doubt itself is more all-consuming than ever before--it's just your basic, garden-variety doubt. Am I doing the right thing? What is the right thing? Where is it?

It's wrestling with the essence of doubt. How far can questioning go before it's a negative force in my life? Is there a heaven for skeptics?

Is doubting for the people who, at the end of the day, want to arrive at the truth... or is doubting for the people who just wish to undermine the truth so they don't have to pay attention to it?

I think it is because I want to trust that I feel this kneejerk reaction to evaluate.

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. --Rene Descartes

I doubt. I doubt. I doubt.

"Doubt" is a funny word; it has a silent "b."

Anton Chekhov once said that man is what he believes. Maybe a man is what he doubts, too.

I don't want to be proud of distrusting. I just want to believe. But I want to believe the truth. To really believe it. Not blindly, but through every possible doubt.

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