Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Any Perks of Being a Wallflower...

...are totally eliminated by adopting a countercultural haircut.

You may quote me.

I have had a mohawk (not a fauxhawk) for two days.

I named it Hugh.

If there is one thing that has assured me that I am not a punk, it is having a punk haircut and feeling stupid.

A lot of people have said that it looks really good. This, I think, is sometimes code for "You have an unusual haircut and I feel I need to comment on it--but I don't like it at all," or, sometimes, "I appreciate that you have the guts to do what I would never do... but it looks stupid." And there are a few people who actually mean it when they say they like it. Anyway, it's too much hair attention for my liking--but what do you expect? I'm a girl with a mohawk. I'm used to it and I am secure in who I am--I am a child of God; I am a peacemaker; I am a dreamer--and right now, I am a child of God, a peacemaker, and a dreamer with a mohawk.

Mohawks are not like dreads; dreads are a way of life. (I love dreadlocks. I love dreaded people. I kind of wish my baby sister was a little less Hollister, a little more hippie so she could have awesome long blond dreads). Mohawks are a lot less time-consuming and you don't have to have a mohawk soul to have a mohawk.

Am I glad I currently have a mohawk? In a way, yes (although I will be completely ok once I can return to a less alarming haircut.)

I honestly think it will contribute scads of authenticity to my characterization in this musical. (Y'all, my hair will look SO good in this play and I am justifiably excited.) (It's also a perverted theatrical status symbol to look weird for a show. I always looked longingly after the muttonchops and curlers of the period-show actors. Is it misguided? Yes. But still.)

I will also one day be able to say, "Children, when I was a senior in college, I had a mohawk. This means I am countercultural; you may obey me now."

And I now have the authority to dispel myths about mohawks. For one thing, it is not essential to shave the sides of your head to have a mohawk. If the hair on the sides of your head is very significantly shorter than the hawk part, it is not a fauxhawk. For another, mohawks can be worn down. The lady who cut my hair spiked it. Hugh hates being spiked. Mohawks do not have to be fanned in order to be legitimate. I looked this up online to make sure. Also, mohawks have minds of their own.


Katelyn said...

If I had a mohawk, I would look like a guy, which is a problem because I'm a girl. Now you, you could totally pull off any short hair style and still look fabulously feminine.

So you named it Hugh, huh?

John Alston said...

Hugh. After Hugh Grant? Chuckle chuckle.

Anyway I can't wait till you dye it purple so that I don't mistake it for a rabid undergrown groundhog that seems attached to your head and actively try to kill it.

Claire said...

Katelyn, I don't know about that; I find myself using a lot of mascara now that I have a hawk.

John, not after Hugh Grant. Zach suggested the name Hugh and it stuck.

Groundhogs are bigger than Hugh is. And I'm dyeing it pink, not purple.

Anonymous said...

Just want you to know that we love you, pink mohawk and all. I don't think I have ever heard of naming a haircut. Cars, yes; haircuts, no.
I do hope you get some good photos of the pink mohawk. Speaking of good photos, I hope to get a stunning senior portrait this year....but,ah, could we wait til the sides grow out just a little bit???? AND YOU PROMISED your hair would NOT be pink for graduation. What about Hugh??? Is HE going to be around?? I should hope not but that's up to you.
See you real soon. Love you, mom et al

claire said...

Mom, really. Hugh is teriffic for the show and for my characterization... but I, personally, on a personal level, wish that Hugh was not around, and you can bet that Hugh will be peacing out the day after the show. The sides are growing already and I am sticking by my promise that I will not graduate with pink hair.

Beth Nell said...

that is awesome. Ya know, I think that any type of hairstyle would look amazing on you, because you are amazing! But I find it so great that you even named your mohawk! Sweeettt! :-)