So, for the past couple of hours, I've been looking at THIS:

The Theatre Arts Graduate Program of ___________ has long been recognized as one of the most outstanding graduate schools in the nation. The program offers a M.F.A. in Acting, Scenic Design, and Dramaturgy (Or it will say Dramatic Writing or Theatre Criticism.) Our students are universally challenged to create wonderful, critically valid works of art which will render them incapable of ever being unemployed by any theatre. Our involved faculty experts empower our students to take over the theatre world.

(Looks good. I scroll down.)

Students of dramaturgy (or dramatic writing or theatre criticism) are intellectually dragged through the sewer by their hair. Their exceptional dedication and voracious talent means that they are required to write a book the size of Tolstoy's War and Peace on each and every graduate level production at the ______________ School of Professional Drama. The book must use proper punctuation, MLA format, and blank verse.

Each potential dramaturgy MFA is required to fit 1000000000000000000000000000000 hours of work into 60 credit hours. Our three year program will suck away 10 years of your life, as seen in the torture scenes in The Princess Bride.

The dissertation and thesis committees are located in the scenic submerged city of ancient Atlantis. Find Atlantis, defend your master's thesis, and, after our committee has torn it into shreds, edit it into a masterpiece worthy of our graduate program within 2 minutes. While knitting a sweater for Anne Bogart and participating in an anti-Bush demonstration.














I am, for real, going to flip.